Sisterhood Ramblings ~ Module 43 A Year With Myself

I never had a sister. And what I know about sisterhood is limited.

I know what I have observed. I know what I think I saw among sisters I knew and grew up with.

And I mostly only know what it is to BE a sister to a brother. And that’s really NOT what I imagine sisterhood looks [or feels] like.

I have had friends. I have had lovers.

These have been something like sisters, but only almost and never quite. The hardest relationships for me are the ones where we’re BEing friends after having been lovers.

The past few years I have BEcome more like a sister would BE, I imagine, to myself. Even if that’s NOT quite what I am, it’s pretty darned close.

I tell myself the truth and stand-by with sufficient patience to help myself absorb that truth. And I’ve stopped lying to myself altogether.

When I fail [which is often] I try to cheer myself on for the effort, the guts, and BEcause it feels much better than kicking myself when I am down. And I’ve stopped replaying my mistakes, sometimes even forgetting them altogether.

I think the good thinks when I think about myself Now. And I’ve stopped playing Devil’s Advocate and Worst-Case Scenario choreographer altogether.

If I am hurt or scared or angry or lonely or fed up or simply having a bit of a mood, I’ve learnt how to give myself space and stay close enough but NOT too close. And I’ve stopped trying to fix or change myself altogether.

MayBE this is what Sisterhood, having a sister, or BEing a sister to a sister would look like. Or mayBE it is just what I think it would BE or look like.

I’m good with NOT knowing. I really don’t need to…