Tuesday, April 24, 2012

THOUGHTY MUSINGS ON: BEING IN THE ZONE


An oddly large strawberry...




This week has been an unplanned and wholly unexpected wander off onto a path through a wood I never knew was there. It has found me sailing like a monkey from tree to tree, limb to limb, as if by magic. Truly an amazing thing. And yet I’d never have imagined it. [Which explains a LOT about why I’m NOT in charge of figuring HOW things work; my only task is to envision it, visualise the details…]

Whether I was specifically inspired by this Module, or BElieve simply that My Right Now Time & Module 16 coincided, causing this “BEautimous Mistake” to come into BEing, I cannot say. And I won’t even pretend to try saying. I think I have, finally, stopped wanting to find the answers at the back of the book. In fact, I don’t even WANT answers. I simply want to BE. BEcause when I BE I am without a doubt In. The. Zone.

One thing I had in view all week was how good it feels to step aside, get out of the way, and just notice, observe, and see without judging. MayBE it was BEing so busy with learning how it is to live without four wheels. It’s a BIG change, and I have to say I am loving it, AND it leaves far less time for the wondering and wandering my mind had learnt to BE so busy at. Letting myself BE “new” and “inexperienced” at this, I’ve noticed once again new ways in which I can grow.

While I have heard it said, more gazillions of times than I can count, that there is serious value in BEing kind to oneself, to treating oneself as I/you would a child, a puppy, any young thing, I only Now really grasp its importance To ME.

It’s a little like what I guess plumbers DO. They have to work their way through the muck of what’s clogging things up to get to the source of what’s backed it all up to BEgin with. It’s NOT fun. Mightn’t  smell too nice. And surely it’s infuriating. Still, when that’s your thing, when that’s what YOU DO, bringing your whole self to the task is definitely the best plan.

It was such a kick for me to read what Julie Jordan Scott said about her approach to making McDonald’s hot fudge sundaes. I reread it several times, each one of those times taking me on a romp through similar stories in my Life. You see, this is what “the zone” is according to Currie:

DO WHAT I DO AS I DO IT.
DO IT THE VERY BEST I CAN DO IT.
AND DO IT AS ONLY I CAN DO IT.

It is important to me to always bring my best. NOT my perfectionist sugar-coated always right “best.” The BEST that only I have to bring to it.

I think what I’m trying to say is that there is a whole lot of noise going on inside my head most of the time. A whole lot of the nattering old prune in me who always has her clipboard and checklists and Big RED Sharpies. If I give her another job to DO, BEcause, truly, she has her good points, this frees ME up to BE kinder to myself. Treat myself with the same sort of tenderness I’d treat YOU with. AND… best of all at this point in Time, this ensures that SHE can go figure out things like bus schedules and how to get somewhere by bus.

Along my journey these past 7 days I came to an endpoint. NOT so much a stopping place, more a commencement. [Though no speeches, funny hats, gowns, or diplomas were involved.] I arrived in the place where I let myself off the hook I’ve been hanging myself on for way too long. I saw that this was how I could go on with enJOYing Life. Like throwing back a catch into the sea… it was enough to know I caught what I caught…

To respond, too, to the Alexia Petrakos’ prompt, I might NOT have fully understood until Now how I lose track of my time. How I find “my Zone.” Where exactly it is. BUT… I did know how to dawdle, detour, and keep myself at arm’s length. I knew, too, how to block my own sunlight and stand in my way, keeping the hope and dream of BEing fully ME and DOing what I DO how I DO it, how only I CAN DO it. It’s my practise of staring in the rearview mirror.

MayBE, it occurs to me, that is why I got rid of my 4 wheels. There is no rearview mirror when I am walking, and in the bus I can’t see what’s going on. My only responsibility is to know where I am going and pull the thingie when I want out at the next stop.

I did get out of my own way in ways large and small this past week. I found [without “all that” to obscure my view] that lovely field. That place where simple joy lives. Where to breathe is to create. Where BEing is the point. Where I am enough, as I am, as I am NOT, and I love it here…


1 comment:

Jess Morrow said...

Great post, Currie ... and I really feel like crazy things are happening in the universe. Everything seemed to conspire to get me into the zone over the past week, and it seems that the same thing happened to a lot of others too--both within the AYWM course AND outside. (love your "the zone according to Currie.") LOVE it.