Meet My Good Friend, Fear

My Friend, Fear

I’ve known a lot of Fear, like most people, I suppose, but I am continually amazed at all the little Fears that seem to have put down roots in me, deep deep roots, and me, none the wiser even after all these years, I’ve run this long game of If I Close My Eyes I Can’t See You thinking that will make some sort of difference, shift the balance, or make the whole mess go away away oh so far away…

The way that Life has unfolded recently, and really, the longer view I have from Now to Then, the Time Of My Life when I suppose I invited Fear in instead of thinking it would go away if I just ignored it, closed the door, and pretended it was obviously here by mistake… well I’m starting to see that all Fear ever intended was to get my attention, get me to LISTEN to it, and get me to BE its friend.

I don’t know the exact moment I decided to BEfriend Fear. Perhaps there wasn’t one moment. Still, we’re good Now, and it actually feels like our friendship was here all along, I just was looking at it bass-ackwards.

The thing about Fear and Me is actually a funny thing. We’re like conjoined BEings of some sort. If I pull one way, Fear can either go along with me or pull back in another direction. Pretty simple stuff. And I’ve only just come to see that I’ve been the stronger of us all along. Stronger-willed, stronger in opinions, and stronger than was/is, frankly, good for either of us.

BEcoming friends with something that has always just BEEN there, in me, with me, part of me, seems about the silliest thing I’ve heard in awhile. I mean, Fear is something I was taught to Rise Above, NOT Let STOP You/Me, and For Goodness Sake, Get Over YOURSELF ALREADY!!!!

I’ve always gone my own way. The above “voices” are my parents’ and, yes, sad to say teachers', bosses', and even a few mentor-ish types'. What If???? I didn’t listen to or heed their words?! What If???? I simply made friends with my Fear, met it with genuine compassion, and welcomed it to BE heard, known, and felt?!

When I met my Fear, looked at how it dressed, spoke, walked, and basically lived in the World, er, in ME, I noticed some things. It looked very gentle, even a little curious. It wasn’t a monster. It didn’t have 3 heads and bulging eyes. It was: A. Lot. Like. ME.

So Now we simply dance together in this World, Fear and I. We laugh and we help each other. Sometimes it might seem we’re at cross-purposes, yet we’re NOT. We understand that we each play a part. An essential part. And it works best when we work together.