Musing on Creativity, Power, and Their Splendid Dance

Muusie

I love the Henry Miller quote from Module 13: Power:

When you surrender, the problem ceases to exist. Try to solve it, or conquer it, and you only set up more resistance. The most difficult thing to admit, and to realize with one's whole being, is that you alone control nothing.

This pretty much sums up my sense of and connection with that thing called my Creativity. 

I admit to "trying" to make myself post last week, when I "should have" and had got in the habit of DOing the previous 12 weeks of AYWM. And it was even a little bit funny to see all the gyrations and leaps of confusion I indulged.

The thing is, when I create, or when I try to see where my creative mojo comes from or how it makes its way to and through me, it's like trying to see my eyes when I am looking through them. It's simply NOT within the realm of possibilities I understand...

Still, the dance with this problem was an adventure, truly, and it taught me that I still have some moves in me!!

One of the tricky parts of owning my Creativity is that I really don't, in fact, I don't even WANT TO own it. I just want to learn to ride it like a wild horse and NOT EVEN worry about holding on!!!

So this is what brought me to Muusie, my muse. My grandmother, Moosie, was the World to me, all gathered up in a woman I knew for far too short a time "in person." The photo above, scanned and fiddled with, is of her in a tiny black and white photo with me in my high chair. So it's old. And NOT so good to BEgin with.

But here's the thing... it has been on my art table for over a year Now, along with some other photos with other special people in my little ordinary Life. I would see each of them and I would feel so loved. So deLIGHTed in. And over time I think I came to a place of deep peace with Life, MY Life, as it's been, as it's NOT been, and as it's unfolded and continuing to unfold.

This tiny photo reminded me that BEfore I even had a clue that I needed to harness Power or BE Creative or DO anything at all BEyond simply BE, I. Was. Loved.

Deeply.

Just. Loved.

Oftentimes I have paused, seemingly to listen or catch the sweet scent of memory that has no image to it. I think in those pauses I have found my "muse" and that, for me, the picture of it is of Moosie, just happy that I was there BEing.

It's a good place to launch, a great one to surrender to. It is far from earth-shattering and will never make the headlines, but for me it's the Real Thing.

Love. That wonderful love I had, and still FEEL. That's where it all starts, lifts, and lets me fly.