Our Relationship’s Values

A Variation On Sandi’s Weekly Prompt Module 6

Using the List of 418 Values

                                                       

GRACIE’S VALUES	RELATIONSHIP’S VALUES	CURRIE’S VALUES
adventure	adaptability	acceptance
affection	adventure	adventure
closeness	approachability	balance
curiosity	belonging	calmness
delight	camaraderie	comfort
eagerness	care/carefulness	connection
exuberance	comfort	cooperation
fidelity	closeness	curiosity
friendliness	cooperation	delight
individuality	courtesy	ease
involvement	enJOYment	encouragement
joy	exploration	exploration
love	expressiveness	flexibility
making a difference	flexibility	generosity
optimism	focus	harmony
playfulness	generosity	integrity
pleasure	integrity	making a difference
silliness	joy	meaning
simplicity	love	preparedness
spunk	making a difference	respect
teamwork	[BEing] outdoors	responsibility
uniqueness	partnership	sensitivity
warmth	peace	solitude
wonder	respect	strength
zeal	trust	understanding

DOing this is, admittedly, a bit outside the prompt’s intent, but it’s been really interesting for me. Since, of course, Gracie cannot read or write, I have taken the liberty of DOing these lists from my own perspective. It was pretty intuitive, actually, and I am glad for the list I found last week online. I kept adding 5 more rows BEcause I’d get through the list BEfore I ran out of values!!!

In terms of Gracie’s Values, I picked out those I think fit her, as I know her, observe her, and live with her. While I doubt she’d choose to call herself optimistic or say that she values simplicity or spunk, the words in her list truly reflect what is clearly Gracie about her. Of course she knows she values BEing affectionate, close, curious, eager, exuberant, and friendly. I am the one choosing to say she values her individuality, having involvement(s), making a difference, BEing zealous. Despite all my referencing evidence to the contrary, Gracie DOES value teamwork and fidelity. Granted she might find those words too fluffy and “persony” for her liking, but I know that she IS all that and more. It’s all these values that make her unique, extraordinary, and her wondrously sweet self.

When I went through and chose the 25 values of mine for this exercise, I noticed I chose somewhat differently than were I choosing just what I value. With the exercise’s intent such as it is, I thought about the things I value in relation to Life With Gracie [which is pretty much LIFE as I live and know it]. Acceptance has often been a struggle for me, wanting Gracie to BE this way or that way and taking it personally when she was NOT. I think this is why we “work so well” Now. I’ve accepted HER as much as MYSELF and this keeps us and our partnership cleaner, clearer, and more resilient. Things like adventure, balance, calmness, comfort, connection, and cooperation are things I dearly and deeply value, No Matter What or Who I’m thinking of.

Curiosity, delight, ease, and encouragement I also try to make sure are part of ME and especially so with Gracie. I know she is a dog and NOT a 4-legged furry person, but I deeply value that these four are so much a part of who I am and WE are together. In particular I try to encourage her exploring and this has, in turn, made me more encouraging of my own love of exploring. It takes flexibility and generosity for me to BE able to manage this, but the resulting harmony, respect, and understanding are worth every generous flexing I put forward.

I love how Gracie encourages my solitude, respects it [and me], and is sensitive to me, even though I didn’t attribute those values to her specifically. I love that I choose integrity, making a difference, meaning, preparedness, and responsibility when I make my list of values. These are key values for the sort of relationship I have as Gracie’s person and as a person who shares her Life completely with her dearest companion of the canine bean variety.

I think it might’ve been interesting enough to just DO this exercise focused on the values in our relationship, but I am glad I didn’t just keep it that simple. I learned a lot from DOing Gracie’s and mine with Gracie and our relationship in mind. I also notice that there are many shared as well unshared values in the relationship and our individual values.

The “un-shared” values, those that are just in the Relationship’s List:

1.      Adaptability.

2.     Approachability.

3.      BElonging.

4.     Camaraderie, care, and carefulness.

5.      Courtesy.

6.      EnJOYment.

7.      Expressiveness. [and its curious mix of her extroversion and my introversion]

8.     Focus.

9.      [BEing] Outdoors.

10.  Partnership

11.    Peace.

12.   Trust.

And then the shared in Gracie’s and the Relationship’s:

1.      Adventure.

2.     Closeness.

3.      Joy.

4.     Love.

5.      Making a difference.

And Mine and the Relationship’s:

1.      Adventure.

2.     Exploration.

3.      Flexibility.

4.     Generosity.

5.      Integrity.

6.      Making a difference.

7.      Respect.

And finally, those values that Gracie and I both share, at least for the purposes and to the extent that these lists reflect our values:

1.      Adventure.

2.     Curiosity.

3.      DeLIGHT.

4.     Making a difference.

Very interesting… Grateful for these insights!!!