A Year With Myself Module 8 Table of Values & Strenghts

The table BElow [in 2 parts as it does NOT fit side-by-side] is my "quirky" little adaptation of the 10 Questions from the Worksheet on Page 15 of Module 8 and #3 of the Actionable Ideas on Page 17. 

It is a curious melding of my recent and ongoing discoveries: some from Module 5 where I learned about myself as an INFJ; others from Module 6 where I connected more deeply with my True Values; and still more from what has been and continues to BE revealed through Module 7’s myriad opportunities for uncovering and "marinating" in my Character Strengths. 

As I have been learning myself, I am daily more capable of standing strong and solid within my Truth and gently, generously, and JOYously embracing MY THING in its variegated aspects of writing, making art, and teaching while encouraging young things to grow.

5 MOST IMPORTANT VALUES

Solitude   A generous amount of time & space to:  Ø  create & ponder  Ø  reflect & imagine  Ø  refresh & re-energise

Making a Difference BEing able to:   Ø  DO meaningful work & play purposefully   Ø  give generously to the World of myself   Ø  BE encouraging & inspire myself & others

Balance Consistently having:   Ø  Enough of what I need to live simply   Ø  Inner calm & clear focus & intention   Ø  Opportunities to connect & collaborate

Integrity Living:  Ø  fearlessly, with compassion & confidence  Ø  boldly, with curiosity, wonder & delight  Ø  harmoniously with loving kindness  Ø  respectfully & responsibly

Adventure & Exploration Having a Spirit of:   Ø  JOY, Sincerity, and Flexibility   Ø  Easy acceptance of Life’s unfolding   Ø  Strength, Courage, and Cooperation

5 MOST IMPORTANT STRENGTHS

Gratitude BE aware of and express:   Ø  what is good in every moment of Life   Ø  my strengths, possibilities, and loves   Ø  the wonder and JOY in BEing alive

Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence Notice and acknowledge what is:   Ø  Delightful to BEhold   Ø  Thoughtfully done, said, or demonstrated   Ø  Remarkable and original

Love of Learning Build My Life & World so that:   Ø  Process, Discovery, and Exploration thrive   Ø  Progress is celebrated and acknowledged   Ø  Learning-and-Teaching harmonise

Curiosity Creating the Time & Space in every day to:   Ø  ask questions and experiment freely   Ø  find out more about things that matter   Ø  express and share what I discover easily   Ø  listen, read, and wonder thoughtfully

Spirituality/BElief Ground my Life in:   Ø  Simplicity and Integrity   Ø  Consistency of Purpose and Intention   Ø  Generosity of Spirit and Acceptance

Superpowers Or Simply What Works?!

Taking A Stand 

The past week's module on True Strengths has been a little more slippery for me. I suppose that is in large part due to my BEing in a state of joyous anticipation [tempered by the realisation that nothing was certain] all last week. Normally such a predicament would bring out the less-than stellar in me. NOT so, this time.

I've been trying to get a last something squared away for over a year Now, and last week was the first time I saw light at the end of the tunnel. And was it ever shining bright. BEAMING it was!!!

And... there was also another light, slightly less bright, but that's where I kept focused. Quietly, it reminded me, stay Here, Now, and simply notice. BE. Listen.

Rather amazing, the way something NOT working out "my way" made EVERYTHING crystal clear. Sunday afternoon an email arrived that rained-out the week's picnic mood in a blink. It was like a freight-train barreling into me. That was the "feeling" I could identify. And it literally took my breath away.

But here's the thing: I'd been paying attention. I'd noticed how the possibility of a solution relieved me of the "thing" I'd been clutching like it was the Holy Grail. I'd noticed my calm, the peaceful way I went about things, ordinary things, all week. More than anything, I noticed that I've been choosing to hold onto it when letting go would have made things oh so much nicer...

So when finally, yesterday, I took the VIA Character Strengths Finder, amazed I was indeed to find that my Top Character Strength is Gratitude!! Now I might've been able to get that BEfore all this, but getting it THEN, oh me oh my!!!

My profile printout sits BEside me this afternoon with this: You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted... 

I know this is all over the place, but sometimes it's like this, JUST like this! Absolutely, I am disappointed, and I wouldn't even try to say I am grateful for things falling through, apart, or just falling. But here's the other thing: When I took my focus off the situation as a problem I must resolve, since it was so clearly leaning toward resolution, I deeply enJOYed my freedom from its weight. And once I caught my breath after the freight-train plowed into me, I saw that I was completely at choice!!!

Even though I write and share my daily Gratitude Practise with others, something I've been DOing for 5 years Now, I didn't really get that Gratitude is a strength. MayBE I'd have considered it a value, but for the most part, until these past 3 modules I have had a big old pot of soup where values, strengths, and all other character-related THANGS were bubbling away. And then, having it come out as my "Top Character Strength" on the day after the grand solution turned to dust [or more accurately, mud, but...] well, that's pretty cool beans...

I'm just saying...

A Year With Myself... who'd've thunk?! Roaring on down the highway to 59 years old, I would've sworn I knew a thing or two about myself. And I suppose it's true, I DID, and I DO, but what I am discovering in this process is utterly flabbergasting.

This is the second time in 6 months that I have simply let something I was certain I needed to hold onto G-O!! GO!!! And the empty space, the feeling after, the loosening, relaxing, and coming back to myself, just ME, as I AM and AM NOT, it's so Very Sweet.

My Manifesto... In Process

I will live simply.

I will encourage others.

I will see through eyes of Gratitude.

I will choose Delight.

I will enJOY my World and its wonderful inhabitants.

I will BE of Service and give of myself generously.

I will live full-out and brave the risk of BEing laughed at.

I will always pause and consider Who & How I CAN BE Right Now.

I will embrace Life’s Time without complaining.

I will trust that I am loved, seen, and of value, even if only to myself.

I will use my gifts and talents to add what only I CAN to the World.

I will remember that healing is always possible through a smile, a touch, or just listening.

As a process, Venture Map #2 - Write Your Manifesto [generously contributed by Tea Silvestre] is truly magnificent. It sent me in search of many of the things I've written over the past 12 months, as I have been seeking to best [or a least better] know myself, my motives AND motivation(s), as well create a usable Map for My Life, all the while making sure the X YOU ARE HERE is clearly marked.

I also wrote something of a manifesto similar to the type she shares with us in this module, the one that is hers. However, it is Very and Probably TOO Long... 

Some months ago I wrote My Ambition, for a course I am taking, and over time it BEcame my "profile" for my blogs. Even longer ago, nearly a year Now, I wrote something I called 11 Essentials For Living Everyday. Pulling these 2 out has let me see that, as Tea says, "the manifesto process takes as long as it takes. But writing down what matters to you is the starting point for aligning your business (or work) with your personal values."

As I have proceeded through this module, I noted with interest that all of these efforts and results have been and are My Process. It's NOT about BEing wrong and Now more right. Nor is it about nailing it down. I've yet to feel "a click" but I know I'm getting warmer, feeling that I fit inside my shoes, and my own skin and I are much better friends.

I notice myself noticing my values, probably a lot more than I've realised, and I am glad of this opportunity to DO something meaningful [if only to me] with them. They often seem like trying to get an octopus to hold hands with me... slippery and overwhelming.

Clearly more will BE revealed in its own sweet time.

Our Relationship’s Values

A Variation On Sandi’s Weekly Prompt Module 6

Using the List of 418 Values

                                                       

GRACIE’S VALUES	RELATIONSHIP’S VALUES	CURRIE’S VALUES
adventure	adaptability	acceptance
affection	adventure	adventure
closeness	approachability	balance
curiosity	belonging	calmness
delight	camaraderie	comfort
eagerness	care/carefulness	connection
exuberance	comfort	cooperation
fidelity	closeness	curiosity
friendliness	cooperation	delight
individuality	courtesy	ease
involvement	enJOYment	encouragement
joy	exploration	exploration
love	expressiveness	flexibility
making a difference	flexibility	generosity
optimism	focus	harmony
playfulness	generosity	integrity
pleasure	integrity	making a difference
silliness	joy	meaning
simplicity	love	preparedness
spunk	making a difference	respect
teamwork	[BEing] outdoors	responsibility
uniqueness	partnership	sensitivity
warmth	peace	solitude
wonder	respect	strength
zeal	trust	understanding

DOing this is, admittedly, a bit outside the prompt’s intent, but it’s been really interesting for me. Since, of course, Gracie cannot read or write, I have taken the liberty of DOing these lists from my own perspective. It was pretty intuitive, actually, and I am glad for the list I found last week online. I kept adding 5 more rows BEcause I’d get through the list BEfore I ran out of values!!!

In terms of Gracie’s Values, I picked out those I think fit her, as I know her, observe her, and live with her. While I doubt she’d choose to call herself optimistic or say that she values simplicity or spunk, the words in her list truly reflect what is clearly Gracie about her. Of course she knows she values BEing affectionate, close, curious, eager, exuberant, and friendly. I am the one choosing to say she values her individuality, having involvement(s), making a difference, BEing zealous. Despite all my referencing evidence to the contrary, Gracie DOES value teamwork and fidelity. Granted she might find those words too fluffy and “persony” for her liking, but I know that she IS all that and more. It’s all these values that make her unique, extraordinary, and her wondrously sweet self.

When I went through and chose the 25 values of mine for this exercise, I noticed I chose somewhat differently than were I choosing just what I value. With the exercise’s intent such as it is, I thought about the things I value in relation to Life With Gracie [which is pretty much LIFE as I live and know it]. Acceptance has often been a struggle for me, wanting Gracie to BE this way or that way and taking it personally when she was NOT. I think this is why we “work so well” Now. I’ve accepted HER as much as MYSELF and this keeps us and our partnership cleaner, clearer, and more resilient. Things like adventure, balance, calmness, comfort, connection, and cooperation are things I dearly and deeply value, No Matter What or Who I’m thinking of.

Curiosity, delight, ease, and encouragement I also try to make sure are part of ME and especially so with Gracie. I know she is a dog and NOT a 4-legged furry person, but I deeply value that these four are so much a part of who I am and WE are together. In particular I try to encourage her exploring and this has, in turn, made me more encouraging of my own love of exploring. It takes flexibility and generosity for me to BE able to manage this, but the resulting harmony, respect, and understanding are worth every generous flexing I put forward.

I love how Gracie encourages my solitude, respects it [and me], and is sensitive to me, even though I didn’t attribute those values to her specifically. I love that I choose integrity, making a difference, meaning, preparedness, and responsibility when I make my list of values. These are key values for the sort of relationship I have as Gracie’s person and as a person who shares her Life completely with her dearest companion of the canine bean variety.

I think it might’ve been interesting enough to just DO this exercise focused on the values in our relationship, but I am glad I didn’t just keep it that simple. I learned a lot from DOing Gracie’s and mine with Gracie and our relationship in mind. I also notice that there are many shared as well unshared values in the relationship and our individual values.

The “un-shared” values, those that are just in the Relationship’s List:

1.      Adaptability.

2.     Approachability.

3.      BElonging.

4.     Camaraderie, care, and carefulness.

5.      Courtesy.

6.      EnJOYment.

7.      Expressiveness. [and its curious mix of her extroversion and my introversion]

8.     Focus.

9.      [BEing] Outdoors.

10.  Partnership

11.    Peace.

12.   Trust.

And then the shared in Gracie’s and the Relationship’s:

1.      Adventure.

2.     Closeness.

3.      Joy.

4.     Love.

5.      Making a difference.

And Mine and the Relationship’s:

1.      Adventure.

2.     Exploration.

3.      Flexibility.

4.     Generosity.

5.      Integrity.

6.      Making a difference.

7.      Respect.

And finally, those values that Gracie and I both share, at least for the purposes and to the extent that these lists reflect our values:

1.      Adventure.

2.     Curiosity.

3.      DeLIGHT.

4.     Making a difference.

Very interesting… Grateful for these insights!!!

Will the Real Introvert Please Stand Up!

                

I might NOT have done the MBTI 100% correctly, but of one thing I'm certain:

I AM an INTROVERT!! 

In fact, I am definitively an IN_J it's just that one time I was a T and the next time F. And that's NOT T for true and F for false.

The first go I had was late last week. I'd done this testing long ago, and I sort of expected I'd BE an ENFP, which I recalled from those 20+ years ago. Surprise!! When I read INTJ I did something of a triple-take.

Going on to read the other little interpretations, I admit to BEing a bit wow'd by the label "Rational Mastermind." Has something of a ring to it, eh?! I sat with it, read more about it, and sat with it through the weekend. After reading the entire chapter through once again yesterday, I had the thought, MayBE I should take the test again, today...

And so I did. This time I was clearly INFJ, and the "Idealist Counselor" seems to describe the ME I know far better than the "Rational Mastermind" I'd tried wrapping my head round for 4 days...

I suppose this is what I am so enJOYing about AYWM, the many side roads, hidden hallways, and funny little doors that lead to knowing myself in ways that the busy going DO-DO-DO Life often obscures.

I'm still taking it in, reading, pausing, letting myself sit BEside it all without feeling compelled to make up my mind and have it all fit neatly into a box.