Redefining Things ~ Week 28 A Year With Myself

BEgin With a Few Small Changes Ó2012 Currie Silver

Life has some mighty effective ways of getting my attention. I'm one of those people who didn't grasp the difference BEtween Stress and Normal for a Way Too Long Time. Much as I did when I was a very little girl, I continue to make up my own "rules about things" and then simply accept them as fact. Sometimes my misconceptions are pointed out to me, but I think mostly I frequently carry on BElieving the thinks I think even the sometimes very kookalu crazy things...


The cracks in this practise started to show up in little bits and by slow turns about the time my son was born, 1978. I have to say that from that time until 1989, pretty much all that I'd built my Life upon shifted, leaving me with NO foundation and the necessity of finding a better Plan BE. 


BEcoming a mother woke me up to Responsibility. I came to very quickly [though in retrospect it seems a long while BEtween waking up and taking significant action] and deep in my heart KNEW I wanted my boy to have a better roadmap for himself to find his way in the World. 


As I watched this tiny infant grow into a sturdy and curious little boy, I BEgan to feel Very Unsteady. I wanted so to have him know peace, constancy, and love that didn't shift in the wind. In actuality, I don't think I did too well at this. Yet somehow he has grown into a man who seems to have all that and a whole lot more.


The week's focus in AYWM has been on Stress and how to eliminate it, transform it, and, for me, REDEFINE it. Again, as I have felt frequently on this Journey, I saw that I've done some remarkable work on Stress and how it plays with me, I with it, and how we basically dance together.

I spent my week staying open, curious, and willing to see what part Stress plays for me. I had several nights of strangely punctuated sleep, and a couple where falling back to sleep was a long drawn-out affair. I was teaching 2 mornings and the so many people and so little time wave sucked me under more than I'd guessed possible. Still, I stayed open to it all.


Then, suddenly,on Friday, it was like the sun burst through the clouds. I started to take action on this thing, that thing, this situation, that snafu. I was like the Energizer Bunny, but everything was done peacefully, calmly, with a sureness I enJOYed but which is generally much more elusive.


From Here, Now, Monday with that rearview look, I can see that most all of the "problem" in each of the matters causing me "Stress" was How I Was Seeing It, What I Was Calling It, yet NOT really the thing itself at all.


Curious...


In the past 3 days I have taken bold definitive action on each thing that I would have called "stressors" in my Life last week. While it was NOT the action itself that shifted things and what I'd call them Now, it was my willingness to make the small changes in perspective, in action, and in DOing what I CAN DO that made the "difference" I feel today.


I know one thing, and it is something I am 100% SURE of: my own thinking or fretting about something is the cause of my "stress" and NOT the thing itself. I didn't understand this power of my brain when I was a little girl, and I was still very unsure of most everything when I BEcame a mother. 


When I am Willing to put on my "Responsible Glasses" and step up, I can ALWAYS shift my perspective and perceptions. I can ACT, if there is action to BE taken. I may NOT BE able to change other people or situations, but I CAN change ME.


Sometimes this seems manageable, yet more often I am still overwhelmed by Life FIRST. I have learned that when I AM overwhelmed I can take a step back, I can LOOK FOR my part and whether I am playing my part or, like when I was little, making up stories and rules without considering that I only know a little bit.


It seems simple, and I realise it actually IS simple, but Life is a Present Tense Adventure and NOT an in my head make-BElieve thing. Willingness, Curiosity, and oftentimes tiny Actions are my best allies with Stress, when it visits unexpectedly or I discover I've invited it in for tea...